you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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