I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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