a queef is a wish your heart makes.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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