I wish my penis had an off switch
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
