I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
