I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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