WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
