i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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