overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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