Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
whose parrot is this?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
