I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
