accomplished twins. life is a go
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
