I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
