What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
