she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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