At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dick very happy bro
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
