Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
