Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
