Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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