Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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