your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
