Dual....:-)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
