What a fucking waste of an outfit
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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