Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
