Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
