well you can't waste a boner
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
