I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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