he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize