I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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