I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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