Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
