Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how can u be prego again
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize