IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Panties = found
Randomize
