Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
