Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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