I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
