He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
