East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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