Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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