their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
