You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
No subtext here. People are naked.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
