Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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