Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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