the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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