Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
