I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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