Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
