I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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