there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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