the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
