Porn is love you can see.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
