If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize