a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
