Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
