i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My vagina just recognized that song.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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