Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
