no. you can't hotbox the world.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
