Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat

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(406): View more from Montana

Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

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(646): View more from New York

But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.

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(925): View more from California

Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.

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