dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
