he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
