My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
